Change; sometimes called “interruption”, or “disruption” or even “transformation.”  Without it we cannot move forward.  When change happens it CAN mean interruption and even disruption but without it no transformation, no growth. Change is what helps us gather momentum like a long-needed kick in the pants; a shake up from routine, comfort and the kind of inertia that sets in when we know “what to expect.”  Our plans, assumptions and certainties are an illusion and although comforting, they hypnotize us into a dull, careful and sedate reality. Then when life does not go as planned and our assumptions are wrong and uncertainty crashes into our lives with a big, loud BANG, we are unequipped to see the opportunities and openings that are only possible when something is cracked open, like our heart or ego or our plan!

The trick is to actually CAUSE disruption, seek the change and jump into something you don’t know how to do. Embrace the failure, embarrassment, discomfort and awkwardness because without it how will you ever move from comfort and predictability? Leaving, starting, ending and quitting are as important to our development, happiness and fulfillment as staying and enduring the status quo .  The grace and awareness we bring to change is not only the test of our character, but a vital chance for growth.

Where to start? Listen to what you are complaining and kvetching about, commit to starting or stopping something you don’t already know how to do and go for it.  Give yourself passionately to your life and if a new plan doesn’t work out let it go and move on.  Because, as Carlos Castaneda so aptly said, “a path is only a path, and there is no affront to oneself or to others in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you . . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself alone one question . . . ‘Does this path have a heart?’ If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t it is of no use.”

And one last thing, have high expectations for happiness and demand it from yourself.  Not in the future, but in the present where your life is happening right now. If your happiness is dependent on a future state you are not living now; you are waiting for something to be different. Change, interrupt or disrupt that outlook, and your future will take care of itself.

What if you knew what you wanted out of life and went for it?  What if you stood up for yourself and refused to sit back down? What would your life be like if you stopped abandoning your dreams or compromising your true desires?  What would you hear if you deeply, sincerely and generously listened to yourself?

Emiliano Zapata Salazar, a leading figure in the Mexican revolution said, “It is better to die on your feet then live on your knees.” Perhaps we are not engaged in a war and battling opposing dictatorship like Zapato, but we are indeed battling opposition–fear.  Fear of failure, rejection, embarrassment, and ridicule–the list of things we fear is often long and overwhelming. But, Zapato’s quote reminds us that we can stand up to fear–at any moment we can tell someone we love them, apply for a better job, walk away from a job, or answer a calling we’ve been afraid to hear. Even though the idea of loss or rejection may be terrifying, the alternative option of being a victim to fear and living on your knees is paralyzing. Read More »