Stop Bringing Stress Home

July 30, 2024

TRANSCRIPT

I always remind people that this is not just something for work. It's also something that can impact outside, and I'm curious to hear from you how what have you noticed in terms of the impact for people outside of work?

I think it goes across the board in terms of people's relationship with their kids. People start to listen to their family members more openly, more generously, moving away from being right, moving away from stories about the past. I mean, if you look at how the amount of time in their people in their personal lives are dealing with some sort of stress and, you know, they say that something like eighty percent of the time, we're either regretting something from the past or worrying about something in the future, which is you know, we're projecting something into the future, and then we're worrying about it, causes a lot of stress in people's lives with their kids, with their with their spouses, with their family members.

And people learn a lot about stepping back and looking at what are the facts, what's actually happening, and how is that impacting my body? How's that affecting my nervous system? How is that affecting my tone and my mood? I was just literally on a training this morning, and there is a woman who is a self proclaimed people pleaser.

In her culture, she had to be the good girl. She had to get the A's. She had to always, always win.

And she finds that at work, that's the way she operates. And then she takes out all of her frustrations at home. So she doesn't have time for her family. So you can see there's this huge imbalance that the part of her that's constantly people pleasing at work is it's like a pressure cooker, and then where that pressure gets kind of released is at home.

Right. So it's having a negative effect both in in the home and at work because she's not really setting boundaries. So she's working on that. She's listening now.

Whereas before, she was saying, I have to stay up and do this email. And now she's hearing her family saying, could you just be with us?

Yeah.

And then she's setting more boundaries at work saying, I I can't make this commitment. I have to renegotiate this commitment.

So I think that's, you know, huge for her.

That is huge. And back to the thing you said about just being aware that it's even an issue. You just be going through life having no idea that you're having this impact. And and just by learning about listening and then hearing people differently. Yeah. I think that that example in particular will resonate for a lot of people that just heard it because we spend most of our time working, most people anyway.

Over the years, I've heard very similar things from Ben too about, you know, the pressure from work he then takes out at home. So I don't think this is a gender thing. I think this is a human thing. If we don't take care of ourselves, a lot of people are gonna give too much to their work. Yep.

Which probably describes just most people at this time.