Finding Balance in Leadership Coaching

August 1, 2024

TRANSCRIPT

In my experience, when I coach leaders, if they haven't been coached before, often they want to be told what to go do. Ironically, it's following, not leading. It's just, okay, tell me what to do. I'll go do it.

And following is not a bad thing. First, to be able to follow. So, you know, then the leader follower leader model, it's really, like, the the leader should create followers and the followers then lead and, you know, stuff like that.

So it's I'm not totally against someone being able to do what you tell them to do.

Sure. Yeah.

Because I think there is something y'all try. Right? Yeah. But you're bringing up a good point in that.

I think it's a real it's a balance. It's it is the the the coach has to be very self aware of what's the position they're taking in the relationship and what's the position the client or the coachee is asking them to take. Because if you're not careful, right, you could always it and this happens this happens with leaders as well. So all of a sudden, the leader is the decision maker.

This is huge problem in organizations.

Well, they're the decision maker, and then they get mad. Why is everybody coming to me for the decision? If they come for to you for a decision, don't give it to them. So I think the same thing happens in the coaching relationship sometimes.

It's that balance of what's appropriate. What's gonna really help this person develop, and what do they want? And I think you've probably experienced this, Michelle, as well as kind of, like, when you you feel like you're doing more work than they are, and I think managers do the same thing.

They really want someone to make it in the organization that's failing or or not living up to their full potential.

And the manager gets so committed to the person's success, but the person isn't showing a lot of commitment themselves. Yeah. And that's when you kinda gotta pull back. If it's not driven by the client or by the subordinate or the person you're you're managing, you can get yourself in a position that it could seem like you're saying all the right things, but it's you're not getting a result.

Well, you're not listening, really. Yeah. You're not you're not fully listening with your whole body with what's actually happening in the situation because, like, I thought of blinders when you said the manager is more committed. They're just Yeah. I've had that experience with people a lot where they're so full speed ahead on their vision. Their team is not with them, and the team is just doing a a just whatever I need to do to keep my paycheck, you know, whatever you want, and they're not actually bought in and invested and enrolled or, you know, in in the vision.

Yeah. If you have a vision and you're trying to get people bought into that vision, ideally, it's compelling enough, it's inspiring enough that people find themselves in the vision. Mhmm. So they start generating the vision themselves.

That's that's when visions come alive. It's It's not your vision anymore. It's now Ours. Vision or our vision.

But I think sometimes what's missing is not enough thought and time is put into how am I am I communicating this in a way that people can relate to it. Right? So like you said, it becomes more like an action.

It's kind of like, let's just do it, and not enough is put into the kind of preparation, making sure there's buy in, and then also making sure that the relationship is intact.

It's almost like the vision or the idea takes on a life of its own when everyone around you is also on board with it. They just start picking if if it was an anvil, everyone just takes aside all of a sudden, and you're like, okay. And this gets lifted. Fantastic. But otherwise, it just kinda sits there and everyone's like, well, do we have to? And, you know, or whatever else people do.