Background Conversations Part 1
December 9, 2019
Background conversations is probably one of the most challenging aspects of rebuilding trust.
When we look at the crud in the pipe of the, when we look at the foundation for relationship, sometimes what what the crud is is things that we, have never said to people that are really bugging us, that that kind of get in the background.
So to review what a background something happens, you didn't like it, it upset you, it bothered you, somebody lied to you, someone didn't keep their word, and you didn't address it with the person.
Sometimes this can happen in a team where not only did do I have the background conversation, three other people also have the background conversation. So we can kinda have collective background conversations. We oftentimes add to it. So we might add to it by We oftentimes add to it. So we might add to it by talking to other people, and the background conversation sort of gets bigger and bigger.
The foreground conversation is the way in which we're acting when we're around that person when we're not communicating what we really think. That block, that relational field is sort of like your dance floor of life. You wanna have a lot of space. You wanna have a lot of freedom to move.
You wanna have a lot of different moves because you wanna be able to dance with different people. You don't just do one move, and you don't want a lot of stuff on your dance floor of life. People that you don't talk to anymore. People that you can't, you know, sit in the same room with because you have these background conversations.
What happens in in relationship is that over time a lot of in most organizations and sometimes families, you know, we we may have initially come in with a lot of, you know, room to communicate, and then over time, it just reduces. So now we don't have much room to move.
So clearing background conversations is very key.
