How to Get the Most Out of Training

August 4, 2024

TRANSCRIPT

It's not based in kind of tools and techniques and lists of things you're supposed to do. It's really based on how you and I see the world or how you and I make the choices that we make. You know, you could think of us as living in a certain kind of a story. We're living in a certain narrative.

The work comes from the study of human being or what it means to be human, which is called ontology.

That is a backdrop for, you know, why people got involved in using ontology to help people and companies was really because we have a lot of patterns in the way that we see things and the way that we approach not only others, but the way we approach ourselves. And some of the those things are limiting. Some of the the ways in which we interact with the world can be based in something that feels really true and real. You know, when you investigate it a bit closer, you start to realize that there's a certain kind of interpretation that we have that has us feel that so brings up emotion, and it brings up a certain kind of prediction for the future.

And that interpretation, we actually have access to that. So ontology tells us that human beings occur in language, that we are viewing the world through not only talking and thinking, it's also body language, it's music, it's story, it's all, you know, as kind of a communication. And we pass down that the stories from generation to generation. Companies are filled with stories and filled with information that's passed down, both how we do things, what works, and what doesn't work.

But we can get really caught in not questioning or not being curious about, does that still work, or does that have value? Is that making me have freedom? Does that give me freedom, or does that actually cause me to retract? The work that we do is will help you be a better self observer.

So it it's not just that you're observing what you're doing. You're also observing what is the story that's having me do what I'm doing. So it is getting to a little bit more of the unconscious shaping of the narrative that we're in that we don't even know we're in a lot of the time. Ontology is a piece of it.

There's you know, I get really excited now because science and the study of the brain is is sort of proving out what people have thought for a long time in terms of how, you know, our thoughts impact our bodies and impact our well-being and our health. And that the thoughts that we have, the memories that we have that are shaping that story, shaping that narrative, for instance, could have you be really afraid of something. Mhmm. You know?

I don't do public speaking. I'm too afraid. I couldn't possibly do that.

No. That's your reality.

Yeah. That's now it's I can maybe see that it's a story, but it's impacting whether I do it or not. So if I can begin to see that it's not the only possible reality, that there is another reality that could be that I I've never done it before, and I could do it, or I could try that. I might be nervous even even in the in the way that we interpret feeling nervous.

So I think for the most part, the work that we do starts to point people in powerful directions to have access to their own development. We are teaching people ways to look at things that will help them see new opportunities.

Yeah. The I was gonna say just past what they currently have installed in their in their minds. It's like, is that real? Is that supporting you? Is that how you want it to be going? And most of those questions people haven't even thought about ever.

Yeah. And I read some somewhere in a in a book on the ontological coaching, something where a coach had gotten helped this woman see that she was relating to her boss as if he was, you know, a general, like a general of an army or something like that. And he said, well, you know, what does that bring up in you when you think about a general? And it wasn't just general of an army. It was like a whole you know, there was a whole story behind that that made it impossible for her to ask a question or question him. So that's what's really driving the action.

The more she could get in touch with, is that true? Is is he a general? Well, no. He's not a general.

He's my boss. Okay. Good. Has he ever been no. He's never been you know what I mean?

It's kind of like, well, is it possible that he could be something else for you that might then open up a whole series of other options, which is very different than someone saying to you. Well, just go talk to him.

Yeah. Have lunch. Be friends. Here's some advice. Yeah. Which doesn't actually it still makes it about the person and that you need to get over something over there.

You need to somehow control or manipulate the situation to feel different versus simply looking at you Yeah. And understanding yourself better. I don't think most people who show up for the the program necessarily know that we're gonna be looking that deeply at ourselves. And I've had a few people just over the last few years say, oh, this is like free therapy or something like that.

And it always raises my heckles because I'm like, it's not therapy.

You know? We're not doing therapy, but It's it's therapy.

Yeah. Right. Please.

In a sense that it's not it's not therapy, but I think people say that because they they feel like they're getting insight into themselves in a deeper way, and that can be very freeing. Right? That could be that can really help people. So I do think that yeah. We hear that.So what is required for people to get the most out of learning?

I think the number one I mean, it's great if you come into to a session and that if you come into the training with an idea of what you wanna improve. It it, you know, could be a goal. It could be I wanna I wanna get promoted, or it could be something like that. But I think it's it's more beneficial if you look at yourself a little bit more and say, you know, where am I having conflict, or where am I maybe shutting down, you know, not expressing myself fully or blaming other people for why I'm not able to share my ideas? So it's a little self reflection can help a lot. The other thing I think coming into a program like this would be to be open and kind of freed up around having to be perfect.

So in other words, you're not perfect.

You don't have to be perfect, and you are wrong sometimes.

Some of this is on you. I'm not saying all of it is on you, but the more that you can sort of start to say, you know, maybe I need to look at why I'm not getting the result that I want. Maybe there's something I'm doing or not doing. And I don't mean that as a criticizing yourself.

I really mean sometimes it's, you know, well, I've got three colleagues that I don't trust and I never talk to them. So let's say, in the program, you realize, you know, if I had a better relationship with those three colleagues, I might get better results. Right. And be open to possibly experimenting and trying with some things that might have you be able to let go of something from the past or maybe get to know them, you know, kind of intentionally get to know them.

I think most people do get that at some point of the training that they start to realize, wow. There's I'm I'm feeling helpless, but there's a lot of things that I could be doing to make things go my way or to have things come out better.

Right. So it's not so much just assessing what you're doing wrong, but it's also revealing where you're negating your own power in the situation.

You're just not even noticing that you have agency.

I like that that you that you could have agency if you want. That you that you may have something to do with the situation. We've grown up inside of a lot of, like I said, limiting beliefs from our family, from our culture, from our, you know, work environments, school, all sorts of ways in which we may sort of put ourselves down or think we're superior and that we shouldn't have to. I mean, I think there's both on both sides.

But I think so being being open, just coming in and saying, I'm gonna learn something about myself that could have my work life be more satisfying, more gratifying, and be a better team member, be a better leader. And if you have an insight, if you have some thoughts about that, that would be, you know, be good to bring it with you to the class. Because because I think you're right. People don't really know what they're getting into sometimes.

Yeah. Well, and we do it at the top of every session where we invite them to say and kind of say, hey. You know, you typically find what you're looking for, so let's all decide what we're looking for because then we'll find it. It's really easy to to take on kind of a audience role and sit back like you're gonna watch a movie rather than actually participate. So yeah.

Yeah. I think I mean, I think that's a good point. So to get the most out of it, you wanna be present, you wanna be engaged, you wanna be asking questions, and, you know, putting some skin in the game. So it's not like you're just gonna sit back and watch. I mean, it's entertaining to a certain extent, but, yeah, if you really wanna get something out of it, you wanna you wanna come ready to learn.

I usually say to people like, alright. Nine hours of your schedule.

That's a lot of time. So you get to decide now if that's gonna be really valuable to you or a waste of time. And that's totally up to you, which is great news. Yeah. That usually wakes people up.