Mindful Speaking Part 4: Validation
March 23, 2023
Validation communicates to a person that what they said makes sense to you.
It indicates that you can see the information from that person’s point of view and can accept that it has validity -- it is true for that person. Validation is a temporary suspension or transcendence of your own point of view. You are conveying to your partner that their subjective experience is not wrong or right; it has its own logic and is a valid way of looking at things.
TRANSCRIPT
Mindful speaking part four is validation.
Validating is when you are standing in the other person's point of view. I like to think of it as you're standing in their world, seeing their world the way they do. So when you're validating, you're saying, I can see what you're saying.
It's very different than agreeing with them or disagreeing with them. It's really just standing there and being able to see what they see from where they see it.
You say things when you validate like, I can understand why you must dot dot dot, or I can imagine you feel this way.
So this can be a hugely effective way to understand the other and to be compassionate for them and to show trust and respect.
